Speak It Out

Work is my commitment. Learning is my passion. Faith is my strength. Love is my life.

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Location: Manila, Philippines

The name Ardythe:good war (Anglo-saxon); flowering field (Hebrew); spiritual prosperity (Swedish); Norwegian goddess.

Friday, November 21, 2008


Last week, I enrolled in school. I did not get very good grades for the previous semester, despite Joe saying that I had to get 1s. Bleh. Anyway, that day was productive coz I had to do my inspection in the afternoon, as per the company's request, since there would be nothing to notice if I did it and no one was around.

That afternoon, I visited my ophthalmologist, a delayed visit in fact, since I'm supposed to see him May or June. He was happy with my results of vision since he performed a surgery on me May 2006. I had regained my binocularity and still do not need glasses again. He was not expecting that much improvement. A very rare case indeed, he admitted.

Then I went to visit the company. Like I never rested that day but I was happy I met someone new that I was instantly at ease with.

So what's next? Ü

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Getting By

It's not really closing cycles, as what Che-ann had emailed and Baby posted on Friendster...It's getting by.

It's been more than five months...and somehow I remember him everyday. I can't help it. It happens when the mind is idle or when I am reminded of something that has any connection with him. I managed to remove some items but a part of him will forever remain in my heart. The heart may have been deeply wounded but all things will pass away. That is why my best friend is time. As it has been said time heals all wounds. I do not know when, but I have to go on with my life. I miss the way I smile and laugh and I was only reminded this week that I deserve to be always happy, because, as much as possible, I try to be thoughtful and careful not to cause pain to anyone, or anything.

As of now I can only pray for both of us...and maybe, in God's time, all things will fall perfectly into their proper places. Whatever happens, I am just on a journey.

Closing Cycles (adapted)

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end?

Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill. None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the "ideal moment." Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.