Speak It Out

Work is my commitment. Learning is my passion. Faith is my strength. Love is my life.

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Location: Manila, Philippines

The name Ardythe:good war (Anglo-saxon); flowering field (Hebrew); spiritual prosperity (Swedish); Norwegian goddess.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Time is Everything

I got these pesky messages from one of my supposedly sisters. She asked me if I went to the anniversary celebration last Saturday. I said no. She inquired why. I told her I wanted to be there badly but I have more important things to do. Then she said that I sounded concerned when I was invoking for their support, then I would not appear at the celebration She said that my initial reason was that I do not have the time. She even added that they would not listen to me anymore. I wanted to tell her that she knows my health would not permit it, that I should get enough rest for the day, that the weather is not always convenient but I did not. There is no use arguing with her, knowing her who always seem so righteous...

In the first place, when did they ever listen to me? The 10th anniversary last year is still fresh in my memory. One of the moderators blocked me in our yahoo group for "pressuring" them, when in fact I wanted them to perform well because it was the 10th anniversary. After I talked to the other moderator he unblocked me but he set the options that all messages should be approved by the moderator. I can only say ok but I consider them narrow-minded and one-sided. In December of last year, I got this message that I am forwarding too many messages. One told me of this and said that the others are also discussing about it. They reasoned out that their inbox is getting full. To think that I get around 50 emails in a day. Hah! I do not even send spam nor chain mails. Now I do not send them enough emails.

Back to the present I reasoned out that my schedule would not really permit it. Besides it is in Laguna starting at 1pm for goodness' sake! Think of the time! Scorching heat of the sun. Besides I have classes until 12 nn. The celebration could have ended at past midnight (it was a two-part, one for the games and another for the dinner/ball). The following day, Sunday, I have to be in Quezon city for a more heart-warming responsibility.

I have been with these people for a number of years already and I do not know why I still stick with them. Perhaps because of the name of the group and a few people that I can really rely upon. After all, they are not the ones who can help me when I am troubled. When I was sick they never even bothered to ask why I was not there. Instead they disturbed me for something I should be doing. When I was down with being jobless they never even cared. When I was worried about my family's health the other friends listened to me. I do not want to waste my life pondering over these things. I have to move on.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Am quite bothered by your views but have to admit I share some of your sentiments... I understand very well what you feel. But despite these things, I just can't stop being faithful to the group. I don't really understand why. It must be the good memories, the friendship, the faith. :)

September 16, 2005 6:42 PM  
Blogger Ardythe said...

Yes Rica it is the faith...

September 20, 2005 11:19 AM  

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