Goal...where art thou?

I was very happy that DOST-FNRI texted me regarding my application as a Science Research Specialist I. That government agency has been one of my dreams even while I was in college. I imagined that as a stepping step to be world-famous, as well as to contribute to the problem of poverty, malnourishment, and illiteracy. Health is one of the priorities that is taken for granted. (I was qualified as an SRS I in 2003 for the 5th National Nutrition Survey. I finished the training but due to health reasons, I did not pursue it. Therefore, I submitted another set of requirements last January to be among the applicants for the main office.)

I got the SMS message just before 11am today. My first thought was: is this it? The moment that I have been waiting for? Then I taught about the tax refund that my company gives at the end of the year. SFC West B1B also flashed in my mind. Plus all the comforts that I currently have now. But what the heck? This is what I have been waiting for all these years? Those things will not matter anymore. And I will not have to pay for the place where I will stay, since that is our home. Then the person from the other line asked if I am still connected with the Commission of Elections. I told her I'm working for TLSC. She inquired if this is a private company. I replied yes. She further explained that the government has this order to hire employees who are currently connected with other government agencies. She said a few more words but I was not listening anymore. What I remember was that if I know other dietitians in the government who is willing to work for them, and that in the future, if the government will let go of that policy, then they are looking forward to working with me.

As I put down the phone, I felt poignant, down-hearted, and upset. Perhaps, not now. Perhaps God has other plans...

To the hell with this sick, rotten, and corroded government system! Sometimes, life sucks.