Speak It Out

Work is my commitment. Learning is my passion. Faith is my strength. Love is my life.

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Location: Manila, Philippines

The name Ardythe:good war (Anglo-saxon); flowering field (Hebrew); spiritual prosperity (Swedish); Norwegian goddess.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Trying to Go Back

Verge was kinda amused everytime he sees me. For the past 5 to 6 months, I am rarely seen...I was busy with my studies and busy thinking about my life . So last Saturday, November 22 was the talk 9 for the CLP. I was surprised to see Rosemarie, one of my anak in SAGIP. She and others crossed over to SIGA when they had their youth camp while I was in Kuala Lumpur. I still think whether I should have gotten back to Manila that Saturday or not, but hey, it was my first foreign trip so I had to enjoy it. Never mind if I had to spend fifty dollars to change my flight to Monday.Remembering Kay, she asked whether I would shift my service to SIGA and I told her that when my "children" cross-over. So Rose and Rexie did, but I was in some foreign land, enjoying the scenery and everything around me...

Rose asked me where "he" was, I replied that he was in another country. She kept asking, if he still talks to me, I said yes. Another question was whether I miss him. I told her I do not. She asked why, because I should not.
I lied. I do miss him.
As the night progressed, there were songs from the Music Ministry. One of the songs was Forever.
I'll Worship at Your Throne
Whisper my own love song
With all my heart I'll sing
For You my Dad and King
I'll live for all my days
To Put a smile on Your face
And when we finally meet
It'll be for eternity
And Oh how wide You open up Your arms
When I need Your love
And how far You would come
If ever I was lost
And You said that all You feel for me
Is undying love
That You showed me through the cross
I'll worship You my God
I'll worship You my God
I love You
I love You

Then Rose said, I love you too.

Forever I will sing
Forever I will be with You
Be with You

Those words, those 4 words, struck me so hard. I have been thinking I have been wasting my time and my life thinking of so many important things yet I cannot do anything about them.
Yesterday, I was happy. It was the happiness I have never felt again since I have been so busy with other stuff. I do not know all the people, mothers in fact, that I was with. True, it cost me hundreds to push on with the soap-making livelihood seminar. Yet I was happy, even if I had Baby and Rose with me as my service team. It was a show of household and sisterly support, and the support from the people who have been with me for the past years even if we're not related by blood.

Yesterday morning was also the first time that I talked to tito Ben. I only see him during activities, but none of that chit-chat. It was a light-hearted talk full of inspiration and enlightenment. I thank God for using us, people, to pave the way for the betterment of the future of our less-fortunate brothers and sisters, in terms of finance, hope and love.

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